IceTea wins a Nobel Peace Prize, not really!

Aj,

Finished four COMPLETE boxes of Kleenex last night whilst watching back to back to back L&O episodes on TNT and USA and wherever else I could find it.

\jm
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\jm

I love L&O, although there really is only so much bad acting one can take from IceTea.

\aj

___________________________________________________________________________________
Have you ever seen Ice Tea's wife -- she has had EVERY kind of implant -- breasts, butt, etc. Hilarious -- she looks like a cross between a cartoon character and a 12 year old boy from Iowa's dream girl.

\jm

_________________________________________________________________________________
Aj,

Can you imagine, but some weird twist of fate that IceTea wins a Nobel prize. He has to drag what looks like a porn star up on the podium with him to receive it.

Ugh.

\jm

Codegirl

This isn't an ism, not a Milberyism or a non-Milberyism but it bodes well with our geeky side.

This is from the Best of Craigslist and worth sharing ~ http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/846606372.html

Please discipline codegirl and make her code very difficult AJAX

---

Date: 2008-09-18, 10:51PM PDT


I have needs at work like all of us girls do. For me, I don't want to be a girl dropped into the coding pit to be awed and then broken by Senior PHP engineers wielding grim and terrible caching weapons. Rails engineers by the thousands marching, marching against everyone, on every border while I draw well water shot through with ponderings of the scalability issues with PHP, and how for form to exist in our physical universe it must be have a name. If matter or a form cannot be named, it cannot exist.

I don't want to fight sexy ATG boys about AJAX performance within droplets, I don't want to bicker in the morning concerning why JQuery is the proper and correct framework, all the time everytime. It's ok. I love you guys. I do. I worship you Warcraft playing, contract working, hordes of luscious web men. I know what you love. I want to be there for you.

I will code the HTML you don't want to. It's ok. I don't mind. I like it. I will code it handcuffed if you want. It's ok. If I'm too slow, or if you check and my adhering to standards is inappropriate or my fumbling, adolescent understanding of the finer point of JSON infuriate you, you can tear my stockings. They were expensive, and I bought them for work. They were my only pair. I am a humble code girl.

Do you need me to do the Apache configs? Ok. I will. I will do anything. I will wear backseam black stockings and rack servers for you. I will wear long skirts and ballet flats and sit close to you and put Arby's sauce on your Roast Beef. I will eat what you order for me.

What makes codegirl the most happy is working in the service of many codeboys at once. A studio full of codeboys are always in need of support to keep them at their best. You need fruit. You need soda. You need me to cook for codeboys each day for lunch Naked.

I want to learn lots about coding. I secretly want to overtake codeboys and steal their knowledge, but the deep training and sensitivity of codeboys make it impossible to deceive them. They know. So, I must answer phones at times, or take care of office chores. They know I don't like it. I do a good job, but they must discipline me to make me strong.

Codegirl can come to your office.

1 reason why I have been banned from Java Jokes and jokes in general.

\jm

After class today I went up to \bi and \eg and as usual I was Java Joking around when I came up with the following.

kick.rightNode && kick.leftNode == noChildren

\aj

Old Random Bad Java Humor, or attempt at it.

\jm,

I bet your girl told you that you couldn't hang out with other girls instantiating code.

\aj
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\aj,

As long as I don't implement any other interfaces she usually doesn't throw an exception ;o)

\jm
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\jm,

hahahaha

I have no good reply right now, my stack is empty.

\aj
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return unnecessaryJavaJokesHelper( badJavaJoke, groanString );
// I'm using recursion, \jm...

\eg
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In all honesty, our relationship is going through a rough patch - but things have been better since we started going to a debugger.

\jm
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\jm

Just make sure you use a wrapper to catch your StackOverFlowException so that you don’t end up with a child.node

\er
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my badcompiler!

\aj
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\jm,

You should think of implementing swing, might spice things up...

\eg
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\jm

unless you have kick.leftNode && kick.rightNode, then you will not have any child.node

\aj
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\aj

But swing requires some 3rd party libraries.

\jm
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The problem with third party libraries is you don’t know what sorts of bugs you will get. Not unless they have been thoroughly tested.

\er
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\er,

That wrapper you mentioned should help!

\eg
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You all need to get your heads out of the queue

\aj
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\er,

You said it. No matter how hot her attributes are she might have picked up some nasty private methods from some other developer.

\jm
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\aj,

I think that our combined Java-humor is JUnitTesting eg/bi/er's patience.

\jm

Politico

\jm,

I'm a little distraught today. Yesterday too. The day before especially. I'm a simple man, with simple desires. The world is in peril. At least our world is.

I've now watched two Presidential debates and a VP one. I am very dishearten by both candidates this time, as I have been for a couple of elections now. I know that neither candidate will be effective, although I feel one will be more than the other, but still.

At this point I jokingly think I can do better than them at running our country. Not really of course, but still.

Do you have any advice or words of wisdom for me to help me thought these politically tough times? Considering our tanking economy, horrendous foreign policies, crumbling educational system, etc...

I am looking to learn everything I can about the political machine. At least within seven years.

Thanks,

\eg

Note: not everyone is open to sharing views or whatever and I will understand if you choose not to discuss this. Though, lately, most people haven't minded.

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\jm's response to \eg

All that I can offer as a response is as follows:

Good evening, Otto. This is Agent Rogersz. I'm going to ask you a few questions. Since time is short and you may lie, I'm going to have to torture you. But I want you to know, it isn't personal.

- Repo Man

Duke: The lights are growing dim Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.
Otto: That's bullshit. You're a white suburban punk just like me.
Duke: Yeah, but it still hurts.
Debbi: Duke, let's go do some crimes.
Duke: Yeah. Let's go get sushi and not pay.

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\jm's response to \aj
Aj -- that was a very Sarah Palin sentence.

The Clock

I sent the following email, names have been taken out, to Milbery. Read the bottom for his response.

Staff

So that we are all on the same page in regards to arrival time to work and going home. I ask that you all synchronize your timing mechanism today (cell phone, watch, IPOD etc,) to the clock that is located in the RO office outside my desk. The time that is displayed on this specific clock will be the only time that I will use to determine when you arrive to work and when you go home.

I again want to stress to you the importance of arriving to work on time and being ready to work at your designated start times. This means as an example: If you are to arrive to work at 8:45am I expect you sitting at your desk ready to answer a call or to respond to a RO matter at 8:45am.

If for any reason you are running late call me at my desk (leave a message if I do not answer) and advise me.

If you have any questions regarding my expectations in this matter, please advise.

Here's the Milberyism -

Aj:

Pretty hilarious – right out of Dilbert. Nothing fosters empowerment like micro-management.

I betchya if the clock has an IP address that you could get \eg to hack in and wreak HAVOC with the time.

My bosses require me to synchronize my clock with “Morris Day and the Time” – OhWee OhWee Oh.

\jm

non-milberyism

Sometimes it's good to throw something new into the mix. Here is a non-milberyism. This is from a friend of Milbery and me.

I used to do a little HTML in college. It's a gateway code for designer codes like PHP and Ruby.

\eg

FYI: \eg thinks that if anyone wants to know the rules of this blog that they should refer to a previous posting: http://tinyurl.com/3zeyz3

CraigsMonsterMatch.com

CraigsMonsterMatch.com

You can find an apartment, job and spouse all on one great web site -- and it will be self-balancing.

Let's say that you find a great guy/gal on the site -- you immediately get downgraded on the job/apartment lists.
Great apartment -- downgraded on the job/match side, etc. That way, everyone is at least a LITTLE happy.

It's a winnah.

\jm

You like what you like

You like what you like -- I would not try to attach any moral significance to what type of man appeals to you. Sean Penn has to face the fact that he was once married to Madonna.

\jm

ibid club

First rule of ibid club- don't talk about ibid club.

Second rule of ibid club? Ibid

\jm